lets just clear this up..i read neighbs and snugs and tiffs and some other friends. haha just thought i would put that out there. (snug sometimes i only skim yours because they get pretty lengthy)

last night was nice. i watched MILK with my family and it was INCRED! oh man. talked to brit, kind of canceled our plans for zzyyxx (no idea how to spell it) kind of bummed but i guess neither of us were that down anymore. talked to poyo for a bit and he invited me to a party but i didnt want to go. then he invited me just to chill at his house and i didnt want to go. i dont think i wanted to do ANYTHING last night period. Lauren and Madison called me and wanted to come and hang out for a bit and that was nice. we had some laughs, smoked some schmiggs, and tried to come up with a way for me to go to cali. We talked about us just driving up friday night and me coming home sunday (alone or with brit) wasnt sure if brit would want to go just for 2 days. i dont really know what the point of it would be other than to just get out and do SOMETHING. i was telling my mom about it and she said "well ill go and we can use the time to se your grandpa and go to ikea!" which i thought sounded incredible. so we will see. we decided that we can hike angels any time we want..as a day trip so its not like that s a huge plan to be canceling. idk whats going on right now.

things to do today:
homework
visit grandma
go to china town
go to swap meet
clean clean clean
work on my portfolio (maybe get my mom to let me draw her)
talk tizzle for a walk
get rid of the MIGRAINE that i woke up with.


i also thought i would share that i bought anti wrinkle cream because i have wrinkles. yay. haha it makes my face tingle but it has sunscreen in it and feels nice. i noticed a while ago when i got out of the shower. i was looking at my face and saw how many wrinkles im going to have when i get older...which i guess isnt thtat big of a deal..but dang. my mom had a bunch because she never took care of it and has smoked forever and been in the sun her entire life. i am her replica as far as smoking ans sports so i think i can guess what ill look like at 40...and i dont want wrinkles :(

pretty shallow of me.

who is vanessa?

strange feeling. i call and get an answer. it sounds like he is talking to me the same way he would talk to his ex..ciara.

he would be nice/ kind of short and then get off the phone with her and say...why the fuck is she calling me. i dont want to be one of those. i dont want to feel like this. its wierd. but if he only knew what i did to him..i guess this is what i get.

im making cookies right now because i have a feeling that i wount be able to sleep unless i eat some. yum.

How I wish you could see the potential,
the potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound,
but in a language that you can't read
- just yet
You gotta spend some time love,
you gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love,
I will possess your heart

gods greatest gift to this earth was that song.

haha ive been jammin to that and jason mraz all damn day! just those two songs on one cd...haha pathetic but im in love.

so poyo calls me when i get off of work and is like "dont eat ill be at your house when i get off at 10" and im just uh..okay? lol so i think its date night but hella late? im not sure whats going on because he isnt even off yet and its hella late. whatevs. im up for whatever right now - work was hella fun and i am making lots of friends. sweet.

its time to watch the olympics for a bit until he gets here.

yesterday was starting out as a shitty day and just turned out amazing.

after i got home from getting my classes i ate lunch and then picked up my mom from work. we got home and went straight into the pool...awesome. the only problem was that LT ate my brand new effing glasses! whatever. so the whole fam is swimming together (me mom matt and anthony) and it was super nice. we talked about SO much stuff. i was telling them about my probs and they just listened and gave me advice. then at like 3:30 me and my mom were like "im STARVING" so the whole fam went to buffalo wild wings. it was so fun because we were playing bar games and eating and stayed there to hang out for a really long time. with both parents drunk i drove home. then my mom made me walk the dog with her :? but it turned out okay. we didnt stop laughing the entire time. her drunk ass stopped and asked some kids like not to vandalize our neighborhood anymore hahahahha. nice. then were still walking and she was like ooooh whats the bruise on your arm? and punched the shit out of me! i was so pissed so i punched her back and we straight up had a brawl in the middle of the street.
when we got home i tried to wrestle matt and it didnt work out. i wanted to stay and talk with them forever but i had date night with poyo so i started to get ready.
i got to his house around 8:30 and we decided to rent movies so we took my car home rented movies, went to starbucks for some yum yums and then went back to his house. we already talked about it like 2 days before and decided that we were going to SMOKE!!! haha so he rolls literally the FATTEST joint i have ever seen and we smoked the ENTIRE thing to ourselves. wow. then chowed down on artichokes and cake while watching harold and kumar escape to guantanamo bay. it was too much fun. that movie is so incredibly funny.
i think tonight is party night so we shall see what happens.
kris is on her way over now to hang out....i miss her..should be a good time :)

definitely signed up for my classes today :) stoked. im taking a bunch of random shizz that should be fun just to get my grades up.

anthropology
psychology
human sexuality
chemistry

wtf? haha i really feel like im working for nothing. i dont really care though i just need to stay on top of things and get the trust back. i was sad when i was searching for classes because everything sound SO amazing and i just cant seem to pick something that i want to do. its whatever..i have time.

yesterday was SO fun. poyo slept over and sunday night and then we woke up went to chipotle, picked up my mom from work (i had her car) and then went swimming. him and i played around in the pool for like 4 hours. we got goggle from inside and just snorkled around finding SO many dead bees at the bottom haha i was hella grossed out but whatever. i just hope no one steps on them and gets stung on accident. ouch.
im pretty sure im gonna lay out with tat today to fix my tan lines a LITTLE bit.i seriously have the WORST tan lines from lifeguarding haha. its worth it though. lauren and i are becoming good friends. and i love most of the other people i work with.
big jess has been hangin out with us a lot and i LOVE it.
logan is gonna start drawing my next tattoo within the week and i cant WAIT for that. my paycheck should be HUGE!!! i worked 56 hrs or something so yeah.

im making bomb ass artichokes for lunch :) i have been insanely inspired to cook anything and EVERYTHING lately. i love it. im losing a lot of weight and starting to look good :)

hahahahahahaha omg.

wow definitely just got SO stressed out for no reason at all..
so ive been working every day since last friday and i am scheduled until sunday..which means im working 10 days straight. its all good because i offered to take a TON of shifts and am down for it but i think its catching up to me. today i worked 10 to 3 (easy) but my boss shelly asked my to stay until 4 fine no prob. then she comes up to be at 3 and was like "you can go home we dont need you" so i went home. at 4:30 she calls me and is like"can you come in tonight from 6 to 10? we dont have anyone to close" and i almost shit myself. i was so pissed just because im working tomorrow morning from 8 - 10 and then again tomorrow from 4:30 to 10. friggin split shift. blah. that would have given me 60 hrs in 10 days...so not okay. i felt hella bad telling her no when i called her back but whatever. i was seriously having a heart attack about going in..because i really want to help out and make some more money but i know that i just need ONE night to stay home and relax. ive been working SO damn much. im really proud of myself :)

last night was a blast! me tat and poyo went over to tats friend robs house to play beer pong and it was seriously SO much fun..there were just a few people there but they were all awesome. david and mike wound up meeting us there and having a good time. we played beer pong, kings cup, mushroom cup and like all these other drinking games. i got shitty as hell.

funny story - i was guarding the 'tot lot' today and this little girls was splashing around by my feet and i was kicking water up at myself becaus ei was hot as hell so she hella splashed me and i kicked a shit ton of water right in her face! hahaha i was so funny but she seriously LOVED it. her and i were splashing each other for 15 minutes straight until i had to rotate haha. everyone that walked by was like "why the hell is that lifeguard splashing a little kid" but she really loved it. she wouldnt leave me alone. it was silly. i LOVE the kids at the pool i have a million storied every day. its the bomb. they make me laugh SO incredibly hard all the time.

so..making a bomb ass lunch before i go to work 3-10 :)

went on a date last night and saw step brothers!!! it was seriously the funniest movie i have EVER seen. i didnt stop laughing the entire movie.

work is going great..im already tan as all hell...all the people i work with are the shit..im getting MAD hours...ive turned a new leaf and decided that i do like kids haha. only because the kids camp at the Y comes to the pool every morning and the kids all play around and they are SO much fun to watch. i love guarding the tot lot between 10 and 12..its the best. i have to go and get another suit today or tomorrow because 1 just isnt going to work. i cant wait to register for classes! its coming up really soon and im stoked.

definately just walked in from the BIGGEST shopping spree since i was like 12. all too stoked. i got the most beautiful dress for 20 bucks!!!!! and SO many other things. i got about 15 things for super cheap i love shopping.

today is the g mas b day so i think we are going out to dinner :) too stoked on that. today is just brilliant!

just got home from my first day of work!!! super fun. loves it. wishes i could work there every day. Lauren is the shit..we had orientation together and then she went down to swim2000 to get our suits...we worked the same hours today so we went together. anthony viacabla (no idea how to spell his last name) works there! we talked for a bit it was really fun. there is also this guy taylor that was hella cool...everyone seems pretty nice. im down to make some new friends :) im inviting lauren over to poyos tonight because supposedly they are having a huge ass party...we shall see. ive done nothing the last week but party over there EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and play massive rounds of beer pong. poyo and i are always on the same team and its hella tight because we havent been beeten in about 16 or 17 games straight..weve been keeping count. im working tomorrow from 8 to 12 again..baby shift. its cool though.

it was so funny today because all of the other guards are SO mean to the kids! taylor was stationed at the slides and kids always run over to it to get first in line and he is just like "NO RUNNING!!!!!!!" so loud and the is like "yeah, i see you. no freakin running!"

swimming with my mom now